Why Are You Having the Same Performance Conversation Over and Over?

If you’re having the same conversation with an employee every few months… and nothing improves… it may not be a performance problem.

It may be a leadership problem.

Before that stings too much, let me clarify.

I’m not saying the employee is performing well.
I’m not saying there isn’t a real issue.

What I am saying is this:

If behavior hasn’t changed, the conversation likely wasn’t clear enough to create change.

The Pattern I See All the Time

A business owner calls me ready to terminate someone.

“They’ve been falling short for a year.”

I ask, “How have you addressed it?”

“Well… we’ve talked to them.”

What was said?

“We told them they needed to do better.”

Better how?

Silence.

Here’s the hard truth:
The employee may not even realize how serious the issue is.

Because hinting is not leading.
Venting is not coaching.
And frustration is not a management strategy.

Why This Happens

Most managers don’t avoid clarity because they don’t care.

They avoid it because:

• They want to be liked.

• They’re uncomfortable with conflict.

• They assume the employee “should know.”

• They were never trained how to structure a performance conversation.

So instead of having one clear, complete conversation…
They have six vague ones.

And then they wonder why nothing improves.

The 5 Things Every Performance Conversation Needs

If you want behavior to change, your conversation needs structure.

1. Define the Problem Clearly
Name it. Be specific.

2. State the Gap
What is expected?
What is happening?
What is the impact?

Keep it observable and measurable.

3. Define What Improvement Looks Like — and By When
What behavior must change?
What standard applies?
When will you review progress?

Without a timeline, there is no accountability.

4. Ask What’s Getting in the Way
Are there resource issues?
Training gaps?
Competing priorities?

This turns the conversation from accusation into collaboration.

5. Document and Follow Up
Documentation isn’t about building a case.
It’s about building clarity.

A simple recap email protects everyone and ensures alignment.

Then — and this is the part most leaders skip — follow up before frustration returns.

If you’re repeating yourself every quarter, ask yourself:

Did I clearly define expectations?
Did I put it in writing?
Did I set a measurable timeline?
Did I follow up?

Or did I just hope it would improve?

Discomfort doesn’t disappear when you avoid it.
It compounds.

If you want better performance, you must finish the conversation.